B-Hive, Stefan puts on his pajamas for Slumber Party Massacre 2
Monkeyhouse Lounge, Todd sucks the poison out after getting stung by Black Scorpion
Mutant Orange, Kenneth karate chops Futurekick, finds true love in The Lawless Land, and battles the alien from It Conquered the World
Severen's World of Really Awful Movies, Nichele sets the mousetraps for The Burial of the Rats
The Netherworld, I´m dragged kicking and screaming into the Galaxy of Terror
The B-movie Film Vault, Jordan makes Humanoids From the Deep and Carnosaur extinct
Painful Cinema, Frederik scrapes up the roadkill after Death Race 2000
Dante´s Inferno and All Night Video Store, Dante grabs his luggage for a Journey To A Prehistoric Planet
B-Movie Central, Duane is stalked by The Beast From Haunted Cave
and The Dungeon, "It's clobberin' time" for Neo as he reviews The Fantastic Four.

AUGUST 18th, 2002:
I missed the deadline again, but this time I´m only 2 days late. Maybe by the time the next roundtable rolls around I´ll manage to post my contribution on time. Anyway, I wanted to examine Corman´s Galaxy of Terror because I feel it´s not as well known as it should be. Everyone seems to get all upset about it just because it features a spacewoman being raped by a gigantic worm. I think it´s fun and worth a look.

JUNE 24th, 2002:
I meant to post the review for Black Devil Doll From Hell on June 17th, thinking I could get away with being a day late but the night before my computer decided it didn´t feel like uploading files anymore and it was only until today that I could finally enter my contribution to our first roundtable. I promise this won´t happen again and I can be pretty sure of that since I´m getting rid of this piece-of-shit PC. Bill Gates, I hope you get struck by lightning.

Anyway, here´s my contribution as it was originally meant to appear:

JUNE 17th, 2002:
I felt bad about missing the deadline for posting my contribution to the very first Rogue Reviewers roundtable until I saw the Mexican team´s embarrassing, pathetic showing against the United States last night in the World Cup. After watching that I was certain that no matter how lousy my review turned out it couldn´t possibly be any worse than yesterday´s match. Thanks, guys!

Moving right along, it´s time to examine the notorious 1984 shot-on-video epic Black Devil Doll From Hell (as opposed to a devil doll from Cleveland), brought to you by the diseased mind of Chester N. Turner. If you have ever wondered what could be more terrifying than a demonic puppet this movie provides the answer: a demonic puppet that is anatomically correct and horny.

JUNE 10TH, 2002:
At last, the review for Hembra o Macho (aka "Coming Out") is ready. This is a sex comedy from the team of director Victor Manuel Castro and comedian Alfonso Zayas that stands out by making the hero have second thoughts about his sexual orientation. So break out the lube, spread those cheeks and brace yourself for a thorough reaming.

This should keep you entertained until the review for Black Devil Doll From Hell is ready. It´s going to be hard to meet the June 16th deadline with the World Cup in full swing and the Mexican team facing Italy in a couple of days, but I´ll try to finish it on time.

E-mail: [email protected]

© 2001-2002 Marco Gonzalez
I can´t draw a straight line, so all the images have been taken from free graphics sites. All logos created with Cool Archive´s Logo Generator. "Sex" and "violence" icons by Jeffrey Zeldman. Images from the films are used for the purposes of review. No rights claimed or implied.